I chose the title of this post because of my experiences this morning. Interestingly, the torture that I refer to is nonmalicious torture. How such a thing can exist is a mystery to me, so I assume that it relatively recently branched off of torture’s evolutionary tree and can therefore safely be called “Advanced.”
This 20 hour sleep study has been rather unpleasant. The Sleep Techs (I do like the name of their position) have done their best to make me comfortable, but they can’t make the electrodes attached to every part of my body any more comfortable.
After spending 45 minutes being wired up last night I was permitted to go to sleep. Except that I couldn’t. In a way, that’s a good thing, because they definitely got a good look at my insomnia. However, even after I think I normally would have been able to sleep the sheer alien nature of my environment combined with having tubes sticking up my nose made sleep virtually impossible. I couldn’t even toss and turn, because that would have dislodged something. Being wired up like this makes me feel like the following:
- Darth Vader (All of the wires connect to a panel that hangs on my chest when I walk.)
- Mewtwo (For those of you not familiar with the Pokémon world, Mewtwo was a science experiment whose first several months of life were spent floating inside of a plexiglass tube wired up to all kinds of instruments.)
- Neo (Waking up this morning with all of the wires was really disorienting, and at that moment you probably could have convinced me that I’d been in the Matrix.)
Also I feel disgusting because I can’t shower until they’re done with testing (Not until 4pm) and have taken all of the electrodes off. As showing is a crucial part of my wake-up routine, I’ve spent most of this morning in a mental fog.
Throughout the day today I have to attempt to nap 5 times. Fortunately, I have now completed 4 of those trials. During these periods I lay on the bed with my snake of wires stretching away from behind my head and try to make myself comfortable. Given how little sleep that I got last night, I’m surprised how little I have slept during these naps.
Have you ever tried to sleep and been unsure after the fact whether you succeeded. You remember lying there for a long time, and therefore assume that you probably didn’t sleep. That’s how most of these “naps” have gone. The annoying thing is that my Sleep Tech knows whether I’ve slept and asks me whether I did anyway. Clearly it’s a test to see whether I’m aware of when/how much I sleep. I see the point, but it’s frustrating to be in doubt over something so trivial.
***At this point in my writing I was interrupted in order to take the final nap. After that I couldn’t resist taking a shower and trying to wash all of the conductive gunk from the electrodes out of my hair. I’m not sure that I was entirely successful in that venture.
I think that’s probably enough of a rant for the moment. Thank you all for reading!
Today’s First Sentence: That was the night that I discovered sleeping can kill you.
Yes, this first sentence has a theme.
Where's Waldon? 